Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Sexless Marriage Could Be Due To Physical Dysfunction

Dear Tazi:

My husband, “Philip” frequently has friends over to watch sporting events at our house (we have a wonderful game room for such occasions).  As the Lady of the House I enjoy providing snacks and beverages, both non-alcoholic as well as alcoholic, for these events; ergo I often hear snippets of conversation as I come and go from the game room.  My husband’s friends can frequently be heard complaining about how their wives never want to have sex with them, and to my shock and dismay, Philip joins in with his own complaints!  Tazi, the lack of sex in my marriage is not my fault!  It is my husband who never wants to be intimate!

Over the years I have tried to persuade Philip to be more affectionate.  I have tried perfumes and sexy lingerie, silky nightgowns, even coming to bed wearing nothing but a pair of pasties and a g-string!  Nothing I do puts my husband in the mood, and when I ask him what is wrong he simply replies, “Nothing; I am just tired after a long day at work”.  

Philip and I have been married for ten years.  In the early years, affection was sporadic and short-lived; after our fifth anniversary it became non-existent.  I have no desire for any man but my husband, but I do have a desire for sexual intimacy, Tazi!  Do you have any ideas to help me light the flame of my husband’s affections once more?  We are only in our thirties!  I do not want to imagine spending the rest of my life like this!

Married But Lonely

Dear Married But Lonely:

I cannot be certain, but from what you write it sounds like your husband suffers from a sexual dysfunction.  It is not that he does not desire sex, but that he is unable to last long enough to fulfill your needs; consequently sex makes him feel like he has somehow failed you and failed as a man, therefore the cure to the problem is to simply avoid sex altogether.  

You need to have a frank talk with Philip – about what you have overheard and how much it hurt you, as well as your persona desires for more intimacy.  You need to encourage Philip to see a certified urologist to seek help for his problem, because this is not normal behavior for a healthy young man.  Let Philip know that this issue is affecting more than your feelings; it is affecting your marriage.

As for Philip’s “guy talk” with his buddies, try to ignore it.  I realize that it hurts, but he is just trying to fit in with his friends.  No matter how old we get, the desire to be one of the gang never fades.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Sometimes Marriage Isn't 50-50, Especially When It Comes To Closet Space

Dear Tazi:

My wife of one year is making me nuts.  She is what my Mom calls a "clothes horse".  "Tina" has enough clothes to fill our bedroom closet, the entire dresser, and half of the bureau drawers.  The only space I have for my clothes is about 25% of the closet, and that is only because I cram Tina's stuff over as far as it will go, which of course makes Tina complain that her stuff gets wrinkled that way.  What ever happened to all things being 50-50 in a marriage?

I have finally reached my breaking point because Tina came home with several bags full of new clothes this week.  She claims that she "needed a new fall wardrobe", but she hasn't gotten rid of any of the stuff she already has!  She asked me if I could fold my stuff and move it to the bureau to make room for her new clothes.  Tazi, I am not about to fold my dress shirts, sport coats, and pants!  I told Tina that if she did not have room for her clothes she would have to make room by getting rid of some things.

With Tina pouting the entire time, we went through every article of her wardrobe - and got rid of nothing!  I suggested we donate her clothes that are two sizes too small, but Tina insisted that they will fit again - just as soon as she goes on a diet.  Tina has clothes from the 1980's that she insists are "vintage" and have come back into style again.  Tazi, acid wash jeans will never make a comeback!

What do you think, readers?  Would you wear these...again?
Every time I tried to convince Tina to thin her wardrobe, she claimed that the piece of clothing I suggest she get rid of has "sentimental value" and that she "couldn't possibly part with it".  Tazi, am I the only guy with this problem?  How do other people handle the issue of pack-ratting clothes?

Pushed Out

Dear Pushed Out:

I have seen acid wash jeans for sale online for a pretty penny!  Vintage clothing sells for even more.  Maybe if Tina knew how much money she could be making off of her old clothes she would find herself less sentimentally attached to them.  

It is a pity that your wife longingly holds onto clothes that are two sizes too small for her - especially since so many worthy causes like Dress for Success, Salvation Army, or Goodwill could use those clothes to help further their charitable programs.  Is Tina aware that her tax deductible donation would be going to help women who cannot afford to buy clothes?  Please try to convince your wife to thin out her wardrobe by suggesting she donate her excess to those who have so little.

If you cannot convince your wife to donate her clothes - and I have a feeling that she is going to be adamant about keeping them, since she sees nothing wrong with asking you to fold your articles of clothing that obviously should be hung - you may need to buy a clothing storage container for your wife.  Rubbermaid makes some excellent under-the-bed storage bins, as well as waterproof storage boxes that can be used to hold Tina's off-season, out-dated, and ill-fitting items.  

If you have the room for it, a cedar wood wardrobe or chest is an attractive way to store unused clothing out of sight.  If you cannot afford new, check Craig's List, Freecycle, or eBay for a great deal on one.  Once the clothes Tina is not wearing are out of your "shared" closet, you should discover that the area can be split in a more equitable manner.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Repost - Tazi's Corner #10 - Fast Facts About Cats

Dear Readers,

I am taking the day off to oversee the latest developments in my plan for World Domination by Cats and for Cats. Indulge in all that is amazing about the feline species with this re-post, so you will know how to spoil us when we felines become your masters!

Ten Fast Facts About Cats – And Tazi – That You May Not Have Known!

Cats are lactose intolerant. From the mighty big cats to the smallest Munchkin, our digestive systems lack the enzyme needed to break it down. We are also unable to taste sweet flavors, so serving us milk or cream is not necessary to our health; we just like the texture. Fresh water will do us fine.

We do not like citrus or lavender scents. If you want to keep a cat from scratching the furniture, spray it with Febreeze upholstery spray in one of these two scents…or both if you want us to really hate you for it.

Cats’ tongues have tiny, little barbs on them which are what makes our tongues feel like sandpaper.

Domestic cats are not native to North America. We were brought over on the Mayflower by the Pilgrims.

Signs that a cat trusts you: snoring while sleeping (it means we are veeeeery relaxed!) and presenting you our butt, the one spot that has no claws. If we present you our belly it means we are trying to see if you are trustworthy (one false move and four sets of claws and a mouthful of teeth stand ready to hurt you!)

...and we do mean "maybe"!

Cats prefer names that end with a long “e” sound….like Tazi! We also respond to “p” sounds more quickly than other sounds…when we respond at all, that is.

Approximately 20% of cats lack the receptors to experience a “high” from catnip. Luckily, I am not among them.

All calico cats are female due to the fact that the coloring is a recessive trait on the "X" chromosome - you need two of them to be calico! (Male calicoes are rare, and are inherently female; they have Klinefelter's Syndrome).

There is no such thing are a pure black cat. Even I have a scant few white hairs on my chest and belly. (It makes me look like I touched wet paint).

Cats, large and small, walk on our claws not the flats (pads) of our feet. We are the only animal know to walk like this!

Bonus Fact!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.