I hope that you will take my letter seriously, because it is real. With all the talk in the media lately about Newt Gingrich and his request for an open marriage, my wife had decided this is the perfect time for us to explore the idea of an open marriage ourselves. I am not certain how I feel about this request.
On the one hand, I understand that my wife - who is a few decades younger than me - has needs that I am unable to meet, even with medication, due to complications from a prostate surgery several years ago. I love my wife and want to see her fulfilled, but I am afraid that she will find too much comfort in the arms of another man and leave me. On the other hand, I find the idea of watching another man pleasing my wife to be quite a turn on, and I think I would enjoy pleasuring her in the ways I am capable of performing as a second man takes care of the things that I cannot.
My problem is, I know that there is a fine line between fantasy and reality; and I am afraid that once the line is crossed I may discover that the reality is not what I expect or want. Would I then be stuck in an open marriage? Or do you think it would be okay to tell my wife that the whole idea just isn't working for me.
Newty, Newty Boy!
Dear Newty, Newty Boy!:
You are correct in your estimation that there is a fine line between fantasy and reality, as well as in your understanding that the reality of watching another man pleasure your wife - in ways you cannot - might not measure up to the fantasy you are playing out in your head.
You mention that your wife is "a few decades" younger than you, leading me to believe that yours is a May-December marriage, which presents problems unique to such a pairing. It sounds to me that your wife is seeking permission to cheat on you, and may already have someone in mind to participate in this "open marriage". If I were you, I would nix the idea of an open marriage and seek the advice of a neutral third party - be it a marriage counselor, clergy, or a sex therapist who can assist you through your mutual frustrations.
If you are not comfortable discussing such a delicate issue with an outside party, perhaps a visit to the local adult bookstore could provide some accessories that will assist in your efforts to meet your wife's physical needs while maintaining the sanctity of your marriage. I wish you luck!
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.