Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Elderly Reader Has Something To Say!

Dear Tazi:

I am 91 years old and have seen a lot on my day! During my lifetime wars have been fought, women have been granted suffrage, a Civil Rights movement was begun, computers were invented, a man landed on the moon, and so much more! I am truly surprised we don’t have flying cars by now!

During my lifetime I married, birthed seven children and buried two of them; along with two husbands, both of whom left me widowed. I am financially comfortable thanks to prudent investments and modest living. My life has been a blessed one, and I will leave this world with no regrets. I bet you are wondering why I am writing to you, eh, Tazi?

My youngest child, “Mary”, and her children have been after me to move out of my home and into a retirement home. They claim that I am getting too old to live on my own! Tazi, I live in a senior condominium association and am perfectly capable of looking after myself and my neighbors! I do not need some nurse checking in on me all of the time! I think their true goal is to get me to quit smoking (which I would not be able to do in a retirement home) and to take over my condo, since the market is too soft to sell right now. Mary’s youngest is starting college in the fall, and her school is only a half an hours drive from my condo. Mary has “generously” offered to stay in my condo for me and take care of the place once I move out, but I think she is only trying to keep tabs on her girl. Mary is only 48 (she was my surprise baby) so she is far too young to move into my condo community!

My other children (ages 63 – 72) are all looking into their own retirements, and have offered to buy my condo from me if I choose to move, but insist it is my decision to stay or to sell. I want to stay, but Mary is making herself a pain in the behind over it! I’d like to enjoy what years I have left without her constant nagging, but it’s been two years now and she just won’t let up on the matter! Maybe if she sees my letter in print she will get the message:

And I ain't gonna quit smoking, and I ain't gonna stop taking a nip of ginger brandy for when my digestion needs it! I am a gonna continue to eat bacon and eggs and biscuits and gravy, and if I die from it I am a gonna die a happy old woman!

Thank you, Tazi, for letting me have my say! I have enclosed a picture of my Miss Mittens. Isn’t she a cutie?

Florida Flo

Dear Florida Flo:

Miss Mittens IS a cutie! If I lived down in Florida, I would have to court her. Do you think she would be interested in a long-distance relationship? Oh, look at me! Acting all lovesick and forgetting your problem! We cats can be self-centered, on rare occasions such as this one!

I really like the fact that you put your message in animated type – it really gets the message across! I do hope that your youngest finally gets it, too. You did not ask for advice, so I will not offer any. I will presume that by 91 years old, you pretty much have life well figured out. God bless you, and thank you for your letter! It had spunk! (And I LIKE spunk!).


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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