Monday, July 2, 2012

Tall, Dark, And Handsome Only Goes So Far...

Dear Tazi:

I am from the Pacific Northwest and my wife is from Northeast Kentucky. We grew up with very different upbringings, and even though we have been married for almost ten years now (together for twelve) I sometimes wonder if she married me because she loved me or because I was an acceptable choice to her family. I say this because I think my wife prefers the forbidden fruit: black men. Where she is from, interracial dating is frowned upon, to put it mildly.

“Beth” gets all excited and claps her hands like a little kid whenever she sees a movie trailer for a show starring Denzel Washington, Samuel L. Jackson, or Will Smith. She exclaims that she “simply MUST see that movie” and begs me to take her on the opening night. I love my wife, and I know how much she loves going to the movies (something she did not get to do growing up, since she grew up poor), so I always oblige her. During the show, she is obviously enjoying the show; but I am not sure if it is because of the plot or who is in it. I have asked Beth why she likes black actors so much, but she just looked at me funny and said that she liked good actors. I dropped the issue with her, but it is still gnawing at my mind. The summer movie season is here, so I have a feeling I will be seeing a lot more of these three men on the big screen. Am I being unreasonable and insecure, Tazi? Or do you think my wife would prefer tall, dark, and handsome to a plain guy like me?

Short, Pale, and Average Looking

Dear Short, Pale, and Average Looking:

I had to think about your predicament for a bit, so I decided to take a nap on it. While snuggling into my favorite blanket, the following thought came to me: Is Eddie Murphy on your wife’s list, too? I have to ask because Denzel Washington and Samuel L. Jackson are two of the best dramatic actors in Hollywood today. Rarely do they sign on to a bad script (I will excuse Snakes on a Plane because of its awesome title), so when they headline a movie you can pretty much be guaranteed that the show will be worth the price of admission. Will Smith has proven himself to be an excellent dramatic actor, too (The Pursuit of Happyness; I Am Legend); but has been known to make more that a few bad choices, especially when it comes to comedies (I won’t hold Men in Black II against him, since he was contractually obligated to do it, but what was he thinking with Wild, Wild West?). This brings me to the Eddie Murphy factor:

Once upon a time, Eddie Murphy was an amazing actor. 48 Hours, Beverly Hills Cop, Trading Places, Dreamgirls – drama, comedy, or a combination of the two Mr. Murphy was the best. Then, he made a box-office bomb called The Adventures of Pluto Nash, which is considered one of the biggest box-office flops EVER. In order to compensate for this mistake, Murphy lost his edge and has mostly concentrated on playing Donkey ever since. Therefore, if you wife has included anything recent by Eddie Murphy on her list of must-see movies, I would say that your suspicions are correct. Otherwise, you recommend that you take her at her word. Remember that tall, dark, and handsome only goes so far; it is what's on the inside of the package that counts!


P.S. If Mr. Murphy is reading this, I want you to know that I loved you in Tower Heist! Here's to hoping you're getting your groove back!

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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