My ex-boyfriend “Lucas” is several letters to you in one. We dated briefly before I decided that his life was far too full of drama for me top handle and I broke up with him. Lucas then accused me of creating more drama in his life by leaving him and refusing to give him the second chance he “so dearly sought”. I refused to be manipulated and stopped taking his phone calls or answering his emails.
After I cut off personal contact with Lucas he started leaving paragraph long status updates on Facebook and Twitter (he would write 140 characters, tweet, and start a new tweet where he left off). All of these status updates would tag me as somehow being involved with his update – usually as the reason for his “deepening depression” (which only affects his ability to work, not to go out drinking with his friends) or for his “emotional stress”. I have simply blocked him so he can no longer tag me, although I am sure he is still mentioning my name.
Since he has not been getting the reaction he wants, Lucas has taken to calling my cell phone – over and over until I pick up, which I refuse to do; instead, I turned the phone off only to discover Lucas would leave me so many voicemails that it would fill my mailbox. Since I cannot block his number, I filed a formal complaint against him with my local Sheriff’s office, only to discover that Lucas has behaved like this with other women before. The good news is that the Sheriff told me that his behavior will end in time, probably when he finds a new woman to obsess over, but in the meantime there is nothing I can do unless I would like to press charges of harassment against him.
I do not have the time, energy, or desire to prolong the issue by taking Lucas to court and I trust the Sheriff to see that Lucas is warned that his behavior will get him into legal trouble. What scares me is that Lucas can basically say whatever he wants about me on the Internet and, unless I rebut his comments, there is nothing to show that they are nothing but lies. It is said that once something is on the Internet it is there forever, so you can see my fear that these character assassinations may come back to haunt me. On the other hand, if I step in to tell my side of things I am afraid I will be falling right into Lucas’ hands by giving him the attention he is seeking.
I can understand your fears that the lies printed about you will be on the Internet forever, but so long as you have blocked Lucas from tagging you, there is no direct link between you and these lies. Unless you have a rather unique name, there are probably other people with the same name as you (first and last) that will come up when an Internet search is done for your name. I just did a Google search for “Tazi” and discovered that a “Tazi” is a type of greyhound – a dog! What could be more slanderous than that, if in fact people were silly enough to confuse me with a racing dog! So you see, your fears are probably a bit overblown.
Thus far, you have handled the situation in a very mature and upright manner; please do not sink to Lucas’ level by responding to his Facebook and Twitter posts. The fact that the local Sheriff’s office is familiar with his behavior speaks volumes of Lucas’ reputation – and his credibility. I know it is difficult, but try to remember this the next time word reaches your ears that Lucas is blaming the weight of his troubles on you. Do not go looking for these posts by viewing his status feeds; do not let him rent space in your head. Regardless of what you think of Lucas, you are thinking of him, which is exactly what he wants. You were right to get legal documentation of his harassment; now let the authorities take things from here until Lucas is nothing more than a bad memory.
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.