Saturday, March 9, 2013

Public Humiliation Can Be The Result Of Gossip

Dear Tazi:

I am a working mother of two young boys. My husband owns his own small business, and I assist with the bookkeeping on top of my regular full-time job. In addition to all of this, I make a concerted effort to be a part of my son's lives and be there for them and their activities; to that end, I go to work early in the morning so I can leave early in the afternoon and be there to pick them up from school or be present at their after-school activities.

Most of the other Mom's that show up after school are stay-at-home-mothers; I have noticed that many of them are very competitive among each other, dressing up like they just spent the day with the Kennedy's and wearing a full face of designer makeup. Many of these women also have figures to kill for. There is one woman in particular, "Ms. Dolce", who stands out above the rest, and never misses an opportunity to brag about how she does yoga for two hours a day and only eats locally grown organic foods, and never, ever touches red meat. I am sure you know the type.

Is this the type?

Recently, while running from work to school I stopped off at McDonald's to grab a quick bite to eat, and guess who I saw chowing down on a Big Mac value meal? Yup! Ms. Dolce herself! The opportunity to get even was simply too good to be true, so I grabbed my phone and took a picture of her and sent it to all of my friends, never thinking it would get back to her. Well, it did and now she is livid and saying all sorts of nasty things about me, how I cannot be trusted, and that I am a bad person and probably a bad mother, too, since I am setting a horrible example for my children.

Ms. Dolce has a lot of friends, and they have all taken her side and are asking me how I could do something so cruel. Tazi, I caught Ms. Dolce in an enormous lie, so I exposed her, and I am the one who is being treated like a criminal! A few of the other Moms have suggested that I apologize to Ms. Dolce so we can all move past this, but I don't think an apology is necessary - SHE is the liar, not me! My boys have been hearing things from their friends about how I was mean to Ms. Dolce, which has me even more upset than ever. What kind of person would drag young children into this?

I know that Ms. Dolce and her crew read your column, because they talk about it while waiting for the kids to get out of school. Could you please tell them all to grow up and start acting their age and not the size 7 shoe size that they all claim to wear?

Real Woman, Real Mom

Dear Real Woman, Real Mom:

It is obvious you do not like the fact that Ms. Dolce and her friends compete for the Best Dressed Mom award. Is this because it makes you feel insecure about your own looks? Jealous that they do not work full-time? Angry that they are pushing women's liberation back about sixty years? Whatever your reasoning, you need to build a bridge and get over it!

While I will acknowledge that it was very wrong for Ms. Dolce to lie, it was also wrong of you to violate her privacy by taking a picture of her while she was eating. It appears that in the desire to impress others Ms. Dolce's mouth got ahead of her brain. You caught her in a weak moment; there was no need to exploit it to your own gain. This whole situation reminds me of a scene from Will and Grace!

In  my opinion, you do owe Ms. Dolce an apology for your gross lack of judgment. Just because the Empress has no clothes is no reason to take pictures and send them to everyone you know. Ms. Dolce, in turn, needs to stop bragging about how she "never" indulges in healthy habits since it is obvious that she has on at least one occasion.

As for the accusations that are flying around:

1) Children have an uncanny ability to hear things that they should not. I believe it is more likely that your sons' friends overheard their Moms talking and brought the news to school than the likelihood that their mothers dragged them into this whole sordid affair.

2) Ms. Dolce's comments that you cannot be trusted appear to hold some weight, based upon your actions, and she is entitled to her opinion as to whether or not you are a bad person. However, she owes you an apology for making such nasty comments about your ability to mother your children. Differences between adults should never be dragged down to the level of children - and I mean that in more ways than one.

The time is long past for everyone to shake hands and make-up. You may never be bosom buddies with these other women, but your children are friends with their children. In the words of one of my Mommie's closest friends, "You need to suck it up, Buttercup!"


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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