Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Golf Vacation Should Not Be Spoiled Over One Person's Refusal To Go

Dear Tazi:

I am so angry with my sister-in-law right now I am seeing three shades of red! For the past two years, my siblings and I have been planning a large family golfing vacation to Prince Edward Island. I don't know what you know about PEI, but it is in Canada and has some of the best golf courses in the world! My brothers and I are all avid golfers, as are our wives, and we have been dreaming of this vacation for some time and saving for almost as long.

The four couples were supposed to go to PEI this summer - no children, just the adults, making two foursomes on the links. My eldest brother, "Joe" decided to go for a physical before the trip just to make sure he is healthy and to catch any potential health issues before the trip to try and avoid any medical emergencies on our vacation. He is in his early 50's, and has always been the athletic type, so none of us could foresee any problems.

Joe's blood work showed that his cholesterol is slightly elevated - nothing unusual in a man of his age, especially with our family history; Pop died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol, which is why we all work so hard to stay in shape and keep our health in check. Because of his high cholesterol, Joe's wife "Sabrina" is convinced he is going to have a heart attack and drop-dead on the greens while on vacation. She  has insisted that he pull out of the vacation plans and has demanded all of their deposits back.

Tazi, Joe is torn between going on this dream vacation and pleasing his wife. He has told her that if he is going to drop from a heart attack he would rather do it on the 18th hole at Eagle's Glen than while at home re-grouting the bathroom tile, but Sabrina is refusing to budge and has threatened to leave him if he goes.

Tazi, if we give Joe and Sabrina back their deposit, the rest of us will not be able to afford our green's fees. Everything has been prepaid and was based upon four couples. If Joe and Sabrina do not go, the remaining three couples will have to come up with several hundred dollars more to cover their share of the trip. We have tried to explain this to Sabrina - how her paranoia is ruining the trip for everyone, not just Joe - but she accused us of being selfish and only caring about our "precious golf trip". Tazi, this trip is about more than golfing; it is about the four brothers getting together for the trip of a lifetime, about spending time together as a family, complete with our wives, and indulging in a favorite pastime of all involved. Can you think of any way to keep Sabrina from sinking this ship before it even sets sail?

Golf Nut

Dear Golf Nut:

Since your trip is prepaid, Sabrina does not get to have it both ways. If she wants to back out of the trip, she does not get to keep her deposit; those monies are non-refundable. If Joe still wants to go on the trip, I say he should go on the trip. Sabrina's threat to leave him over this decision sounds mighty hollow - especially since she is against his going in the first place because she is afraid of losing him in a more permanent way. Once Sabrina sees that Joe is set on going on this vacation - with or without her - I believe that she will come around and attend. This, however, may create a new problem.

If Sabrina is so concerned about your brother's health, she may try to prevent him from playing golf on your golfing vacation, which would defeat the point of going in the first place. Although Prince Edward Island, Canada is one of the most beautiful places on earth (my Mommie has been there, and she says so!) the thrill of it would be lost on Joe, since he would be unable to play on the tantalizing greens before him.

In order to keep the peace all around, I suggest that Joe go back to his doctor, and take Sabrina along so she can hear what the doctor has to say. If the doctor gives his OK for Joe to go on a golfing vacation, explaining to Sabrina that his cholesterol is not life-threatening and that one of the best ways to lower it is through moderate exercise, such as golf, she may loosen up enough to enjoy herself. If, after reassurances from the doctor, Sabrina is still unglued over the idea of Joe golfing I suggest that she seek professional help to get to the bottom of her irrational fears - which, though irrational, are still valid, because they are her feelings; try to understand them. Enjoy your trip!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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1 comment:

  1. Great post! I think bringing his wife back to the doctors to get his opinion is a great idea. I would be so mad if I was everyone. My husband and I go on a golf vacation every year. Last summer we went to Vegas to go to the Las Vegas golf club. It was an amazing time. I couldn't imagine having someone being a Debbie downer on my vacation. It is probably best for everyone if Sabrina doesn't go on your trip.
    I would love to hear how it ends.
    Thanks for sharing!