Monday, June 17, 2013

Allowing Daughter To Wear Makeup Is A Big Milestone

Dear Tazi:

My daughter will turn 12 this summer and has asked me if she can start wearing makeup. I have been hoping to keep her my little girl for just a while longer, but I realize I must also accept the fact that she is growing up and that wearing makeup is a milestone for a girl her age.

Personally, I would like to wait until "Alicia" starts school in September before allowing her to wear makeup, and she is already upset that I will be making her wait an extra two months, but I am feeling firm in my decision. The summer months are spent swimming and playing outdoors and doing other activities that do not require makeup. I am just afraid of the argument that will be facing me when I tell her what kind of makeup Alicia will be allowed to wear.

I plan on allowing my daughter to wear light and neutral tones - no bright pinks, no heavy mascara (if any at all), and absolutely no foundation! I am not naive, and realize that Alicia may decide to rebel and use her allowance money to buy these things and put them on her face once she gets to school, but I am just trying to be the best Mom I can. My own mother died when I was quite young, so I did not have the kind of guidance I seek to give my daughter. Can you think of any common ground I can use as leverage and/or compromising points to get Alicia to see things my way?

Still The Mom

Dear Still The Mom:

Your daughter has reached that magical - and dreadful - age when she turns into a young woman, and you will no longer recognize her - and not because she has buried her face under several layers of makeup! As you may recall, the pre-teen and teenage years are full of hormonal changes that will leave your daughter feeling like nobody understands her and that the world is against her every wish. (I may be exaggerating here, but just a little!).

A good compromise when it comes to wearing makeup is to allow your daughter to wear age-appropriate makeup. A young girl wearing too much makeup looks like any other woman in too much makeup - clownish. What is worse is that she also looks like a little girl trying to look like she is all grown up, which is the last thing she wants right now.

Since your daughter will be outside a lot this summer, why not allow her to wear tinted moisturizer and tinted lip balm - both will offer her the SPF protection her skin needs against the sun's damaging UV rays and give her the satisfaction of wearing makeup. Alicia will feel like she has won the battle and you will have done your job as a Mom! With luck, Alicia will also discover that wearing makeup in the summer can feel sticky and she will decide that regular sunblock is the better least until school starts.

Once school starts, you should allow Alicia to continue wearing a tinted moisturizer with SPF protection and tinted lip gloss. This may be all she wants, especially when she sees how her friends look in full makeup.

"Tammy Faye" should not be the look for any 12-year-old girl!
If Alicia persists on wearing more makeup than you will allow, I suggest that you offer her a little freedom to choose, but demand veto power over all potential purchases. This will give you the control you seek over your daughter's choices, as well as the freedom she seeks to wear more makeup. It will also give you the opportunity for some mother-daughter bonding time as you peruse various color and product selections.

For further suggestions on the matter, click here to read a previously published letter on this subject!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

1 comment:

  1. I'm a 16 year old reader. I didn't start wearing make-up till my freshmen year and I'm a junior now. I know from experience that 12 years old is too young to wear make-up! If you wear make-up at the age of 12 you will be seen as "fast and easy". When I started wearing make-up my mom would only allow me to wear make-up that was neutral and went with my skin tone. She didn't want me to look like a clown and I didn't want to look like one myself. Also wear make-up at that age is not a good idea because of that fact that your body is started to change and it will make the break outs worse. Who wants pimples at the age of 12? I think that if you don't want her to wear make-up then don't let her! My mom was the same way and really didn't want me to start wearing it till I was 16. The best thing to do is to just put your foot down or she will end up trying to grow up faster then her body is ready for.