Thursday, June 27, 2013

"Nice Guy" Thinks All Women Want "Bad Boys"

Dear Tazi:

I like to think of myself as a nice guy. I am polite and well-mannered, and I keep myself well-groomed. I am chivalrous but not sexist and although I am not wealthy I pay my bills on time and drive an acceptable looking car. So why can't I attract women?

When I go on a date, I treat a lady with respect and do my best to keep up my end of a lively conversation. Things always seem to go well, but I am never able to make it into third date territory. Whenever I try to get past a second date, the ladies tell me that I am a nice guy, but they just don't feel a romantic spark for me.

I will usually wait a month or two before looking up a woman on Facebook to see if she is interested in reconnecting, and it always seems that she is with some bad boy that makes her "sooooooo happy"! Why are women always attracted to jerks while nice guys like me finish last?

Nice Guy

Dear Nice Guy:

How can you tell just by looking at a Facebook picture that a man is a "bad boy"? Is it the goatee? The leather jacket? Maybe he rides a motorcycle? You cannot judge a person by how they look in a photo; for all you know these "bad boys" could be lawyers and accountants. I realize that you are coming from a place of bitterness, but your knee-jerk reaction may be showing through on your dates. Women can be very perceptive.

You say you are having trouble reaching "third-date territory". Do you mean you are having trouble securing a third date or are you using a veiled term for sex? No woman wants to be pushed into sex, so if you are assuming it is going to happen on or by the third date this could be why women are giving you the brush-off. Rather than rush things, relax and let things develop naturally.

Women are not always "attracted to jerks"; women are attracted to men with an exciting personality. Do you have one of those, or are you so middle-of-the-road you don't know which side of it you want? You may think you are doing your best to keep up your end of a lively conversation, but for whom is it "lively"? Are you certain that the topics you bring up are of interest to your date, as well as you?

It is obvious from the number of dates that you have that you can attract women; you just can't hold their interest. I suggest that you ask a few of your female friends why women who seem interested tend to lose interest after just a few dates. Ask them to be honest - it may be painful, but at least you will know what it wrong. One last thought it s that it may not be you with the issue but the women you are choosing. If you are going for style over substance you are going to lose every time. Seek a balance of both in a woman, and work on being a balance of both yourself.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

1 comment:

  1. I would also add to this are you asking women out whom you have a few things in common with? Are you asking about them about themselves? Are you being thoughtful. helpful and kind?