Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Larger-Sized Woman Loses Out Due To Inappropriate Dress

Dear Tazi:

My wife is a very large woman, and I do not have a problem with this. I love her for who she is, not for what the tags on her clothing say. "Rowena" does not feel the same acceptance that I feel for her, and she she works very hard to squeeze into the smallest size she can possibly wear - ignorant of the fact that she looks like an overstuffed sausage ready to burst.

To make the matter even more difficult, Rowena refuses to acknowledge her true size, claiming that clothes are being made smaller these days and that she is really a size 7, not a 22 (when she is truthfully closer to a size 28). When we are out and Rowena sees a woman dressed in clothes that are ill-fitting, she will loudly proclaim that not all women have her body and can wear her size - "a seven", she will always add. When I buy Rowena clothing for her birthday, Christmas, or even just as an unexpected gift she first checks the size tag, and won't even try it on if it is a larger size than she believes she wears.

Tazi, I love my wife - all of her - but I am afraid she is making a fool out of herself by dressing so inappropriately. She was recently passed over for a promotion at work, and was told that the reason was that they hired someone with "a more professional appearance". (The woman they hired is also "plus sized" but dresses to accomodate her curves, so I know my wife is not being discriminated against because of her weight). Rowena works in sales, and she would have made an excellent Sales Manager if not for her insistence on dressing the way she does. (Dress matters in this position because she would be professionally interacting with high level clients).

Rowena is really down about losing out on this promotion, and I think I have found a way to cheer her: I am considering taking her to be fitted for a new wardrobe by a professional tailor - this way, she will have a property fitting, professional-looking wardrobe with clothes that do not have size-tags sewn into them. I realize that this will be an expensive investment, but I have some money set aside and my wife is worth it to me. Do you think this is a good idea? I really don't know who to discuss it with, since my family - my side and Rowena's - all think she is batty when it comes to clothes and her refusal to wear anything that fits.


Dear Squeezed:

I think your idea is a marvelous one! A lot of women are very sensitive about their size, and will actually tear out the size tags in their clothing, they are so upset by the number they see. At her heaviest, Oprah Winfrey was humiliated when she discovered that wardrobe had been sewing two suits together - a size 14 and a size 8 - in order to create a designer suit large enough to fit her. While this may sound humorous, I can assure you that for Miss Winfrey it was not!

America is a country obsessed with size - or, should I say, a lack of it, when it comes to women; the thinner a woman is, the better. Where is this image coming from, I wonder? While it is not true that Marilyn Monroe was a size 16, she was curvy and had an hourglass figure; when photographed in a swimsuit, her collar bones never poked out.

She only poked out in the right places!

It is my opinion that your wife needs counseling in order to accept and love herself as she is, not as she once was or as she wishes she could look; however, let that be a step of last resort. I suggest you tell your wife that you think she is gorgeous just the way she is, but if her wardrobe needs a redo than that is what will happen - courtesy of her loving husband! Once Rowena sees how good she can look in clothing that is tailored to her shape, she may be willing to ditch the sausage casings she has been wearing in favor of a more tailored, professional look, which in turn could help her career.

If Rowena refuses your offer, or insists on having the clothing tailored to a skin-tight look, try to coax her into something more appropriate for work. Do not mention her size, but rather say that a looser fit is more appropriate for the office. You could even add that it upsets you when she shows off her curves for the world to see, and that you would rather she reserve the view for you and you alone. You sound like a very generous and loving husband, and I wish you all the best! Shame on your family (both sides) for poking fun of your wife!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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