Sunday, January 26, 2014

Tazi's Corner #77 - Random Cr@p On The Radio

[Ed. Note: Tazi is napping in today and has asked his Mommie to write today's column. ]

The blanket is to keep cat hair off the comforter...which is why Tazi is ignoring it.

Dear Readers:

I am a very organized person. My ability to organize and cross-reference materials is reminiscent of the character Monica on the sitcom Friends. This is why this week my family was surprised to discover that I have a Spotify playlist titled "Random Cr@p".

I share my Spotify account with my boyfriend, and by share I mean he gets one folder, titled "His Folder", in which to put all his music. Also like Monica from Friends I have control issues when it comes to how I organize my stuff. I have "Workout Tunes" in the hope that I will actually start working out again now that I am through with school; "Country Songs", which is self-explanatory if you live in the Northeast where anything sung with a rockabilly twang is considered Country and Western. (I believe this also explains why New Jersey rocker Jon Bon Jovi is now considered "country"). There are also a few other folders like "Sleepytime"and "'80's Music", which is by far the largest folder.

I am a classically trained musician and jazz trumpet player, so while I freely and frequently admit that I am stuck in the '80's, prefer music from the '70's, and that only a small fraction of my music is post-1995 there are some things that still embarrass me. One of those things is the fact that I listen to to Ke$ha; the other is that I listen to the songs on my Random Cr@p playlist more than anything else. (For the record, Ke$ha is on the the more benignly named playlist "Songs I Like", a title that discourages others from listening, figuring it is stuffed with '80's pop and other, far less random cr@p).

So what type of song exactly makes it onto a playlist titled "Random Cr@p"? Well, as I write this Richard Harris is bemoaning the fact that someone left the cake out in the rain - a song that Donna Summer re-recorded and took to #1 in 1978 (for 5 weeks!). Donna Summer, however, is not random. Donna Summer, with hair that rivals Troy Polamalu's, is awesome. But actor Richard Harris singing about a cake melting in the rain and "love's hot, fevered iron like a striped pair of pants"? Bring. It. On.

Are all songs on the Random Cr@p list one hit wonders? No. One hit wonders have their own playlist (aptly titled "One Hit Wonders") and do not necessarily make it to the level of Random Cr@p.What makes a song random is that it is a departure from an artist's usual style or medium. Eddie Murphy singing about how his girl wants to Party All the Time? Pretty random, but not nearly as random as Bruce "John McClane" Willis singing the traditional Motown/gospel tune "Respect Yourself"

Some songs are, for lack of a better description, random in and of themselves and therefore belong on the Random Cr@p list out of sheer merit. I dare you not to sing along when The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play! You could be on a city bus, sitting in a doctor's office, or be-bopping down the aisles of your local Walmart and as soon as you hear that first "wimoweh" you've got an earbug and the only way to get rid of it is to sing it! Yet how random would that be, bursting into song in the middle of Target's frozen good aisle?

Last of all (and most certainly least!) on the Random Cr@p list there are some songs that are simply so bad I have actually had to remove them from the Random Cr@p playlist because they were simply cr@ppy, in addition to being random; unlike other songs on the Random Cr@p playlist these songs were not more than the sum of their parts, and no good could be harvested from them. For example, back in the 1970's, after The Partridge Family hit the air, the Brady Bunch Kids heated things up when they were forced (by contract) to record an album of original and cover songs. I am pretty sure Ike and Tina Turner cried when they heard this cover of Proud Mary.

So there you have it - a little insight into what goes on in behind the scenes here at Ask Tazi! For those who are offended by the fact that I call my stuff cr@p, blame George Carlin, who famously asked, "Why is it your $#*% is stuff but other people's stuff is $#*%" Just keeping it humble and telling it like it is before my cat puts me in my place.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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