Saturday, February 15, 2014

A New Cat Or A New Boyfriend? Tough Decision!

Dear Tazi:

My precious Boots, my childhood cat, died a few years ago and I finally feel ready to get a new cat. the problem is the man I have been dating for about six months has told me he is "not a cat person". He has no physical reason for disliking cats - he is not allergic to them and he claims he was never scratched or traumatized by one; he just says that cats have "taken over the Internet" and he thinks they are annoying.

I have tried to tell "Kevin" that not all cats are annoying; some are cuddly, some are aloof, some are playful, and some are not. I have told him that cats are like people - they have different personalities and the key is to find the right match, which is why I would adopt a cat, not a kitten. Kevin has told me that if I adopt a cat it would spell the end of our relationship.

I like Kevin - a lot - but I am not sure where things are going to end up with us. We have only been together for six months. I am considering waiting another six months to a year to see if we are going to be a permanent couple or even get married, but at the same time I do not like the idea of basing such an important decision on his feelings alone. We do not live together nor have we discussed that yet - like I said, we have only been together for six months. What's your (admittedly biased) opinion, Tazi?

Cat Lover

Dear Cat Lover:

If you wanted to have children and Kevin did not, would you put your desires aside or find someone new? If you wanted to live in the country and Kevin wanted to live in the city would you move to the city to please him? If you like to vacation in the tropics and Kevin preferred to go skiing would you head to the mountains to please him? A successful relationship is about compromise without compromising yourself. Kevin's cold attitude and his ultimatum towards your want/need for a cat has me more concerned than the length of your relationship or where it is going.

Of course, you don't want THIS either!

If I were you, I would hold off on adopting a cat until you and Kevin have had a deeper talk about his one-way attitude. You do not live together, so it is not like he would be interacting with your cat (we felines are notorious for disappearing when people who do not like us enter our domicile). Ask Kevin where he sees your relationship going. Doe she see you moving in together when your/his lease expires? If you get a "maybe" tell him that you are not going to base an important decision upon someone else's "maybe". Kevin may be a great catch, but this does not mean that he is great for you. Tread cautiously, and hold onto your heart for at least a little while longer.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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