Thursday, February 20, 2014

"Average" Person Doesn't Know How Special She Really Is!

Dear Tazi-Kat:

I am an average person. I have an average income for someone my age, I am average looking, I live in an average neighborhood, drive an average car...I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture: I am boring. My best friend "Kate" is the exact opposite of me. Kate is fascinating. She is the woman that every person wants as their best friend - why she picked me, I have no idea. Kate is the woman who always looks completely put-together from the moment she rolls out of bed; I am the woman who looks like she could use a makeover. Kate is the woman who leads a charmed life; I am the woman who struggles to accomplish mediocrity.

Kate gets straight A's in school with what appears to be minimal effort. She is organized and disciplined without being a total geek; she has her choice of guys to date, but says she does not have time for a serious commitment, and does not wish to involve herself in a casual relationship. In other words, she is single by choice. Kate is the leader of every cool committee or club in school, and she manages to delegate responsibility so well that people actually want to do the work for her - she never has to beg people or do more than her share of work because it did not get done by those who fell through on their word. Every promise people make to Kate is honored.

The other day, Kate confided in me that she is feeling "rather blue"; that her life is not what she would like it to be and that she feels like she cannot be herself any more - like she has to be the person people have come to think she is at all times. Quite honestly, I was shocked because she makes it look so easy; and even though I hate to admit it, I was glad that Kate is unhappy. I mean, why should one person get to hog all the happiness? I realize this makes me a horrible friend, and I would like to somehow get over these feelings. I have no money for counseling, and would feel weird talking to a total stranger. A cat on the other hand...well, talking to a cat feels right. Can you offer me any words of advice, Tazi-Kat?

Average Jo

Dear Average Jo:

As a cat, I can understand why you would be jealous of your friend Kate because many people are jealous of me and the life that I lead. Because I am a house-cat, people assume that my life is all naps, treat, soft blankets, more naps, and play-time; but I do have some very serious responsibilities! I keep the backyard rodent population under control, guard my Mommie while she sleeps, and tolerate all of the hugs and snuggles household visitors seek of me. On top of all this, there are times when I would actually like some affection but everyone is too busy to give me some! Has it occurred to you that maybe this is how your friend Kate is feeling? That she is so busy being all that people expect of her that she does not have time to just let it all hang out?

It's not all spa days and catnip toys, you know!

As for Kate's looks, as beautiful as I think my Mommie is, I have learned that no woman "rolls out of bed" looking completely put-together. Your friend Kate is no exception to this, and I am certain she has bad hair days just like everyone else - she has just learned to hide them better, and that could very well be the crux of Kate's blue mood. When we hide our true feelings, negativity builds up inside of us - just as it has been building up inside of you!

You may want to find some time to spend with Kate, just the two of you. Go grab a coffee or lunch, and be honest with her as you have been with me. Tell her you are feeling jealous of how amazing she is, and how average you feel you are. I am sure that in Kate's eyes, you are anything but average - after all, you are her best friend, and that means you are someone very special in her eyes. Take the time to find out who the real Kate is - the woman behind the perfect image. You may discover that she has been so busy pretending to be herself that she no longer knows who she truly is. Often times, the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence, but that is because the cesspool lies directly beneath it.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with Bachelors degrees in Communications and in Gender and Women's Studies. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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