Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Facebook Cattle-Call Brands Writer A Bad Friend

Dear Tazi:

I am so upset I don't know what to do with myself. I was moving into a new apartment for the first of the year, so I put the word out to my friends on Facebook to ask if they could help me. A lot of people responded, but only to tell me why they couldn't do it. You know - sorting, packing, and all the stuff that needs to be done before the actual move and then to help me with the actual move.  I am sick of hearing excuses like "I'd like to, but I have plans" or "I can't unless you can give me gas money; I don't have the gas money to get there and back". One person even said "I can't because that's the Sabbath"!

Isn't assisting a friend in need the perfect way to honor God? And I would think helping a friend to move is more important than some weekend plans. As for not having gas money, friends should be willing to help friends for free, not for gas money! Do you have any good responses that I can give to these so-called "friends" when they ask me why I am un-friending them on Facebook?

Moving On

Dear Moving On:

I have the perfect response that you can give to those who question why you are un-friending them: I'm sorry I over-reacted to your inability to help me move. Can you forgive me for being so self-centered?

And for failing to offer the obligatory case of beer!

Nobody likes moving, even during the best of times; but to put out the request for help during the winter weather, on a weekend, in the middle of the holiday season? Did you honestly expect people to respond in droves? The reasons people gave are perfectly acceptable and quite reasonable. Would you have preferred they ignore your request altogether? In your letter, you disrespect one friend's religious practices; another's financial limitations; and a third friend's pre-existing plans. I can only imagine how you responded to them on Facebook, where people tend to be much more candid.

Unless you would be willing to put your plans/religion/financial needs aside to answer a cattle-call type request for help you have no right to complain about others reacting the same way. By un-friending these people, you are probably doing them a favor. Remember that in order to have good friends we must be a good friend. It's a little late to make this your New Year's resolution, so why not just resolve to try harder? Consider it a spring cleaning for the soul. You will be surprised at the results you get.


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