Friday, March 21, 2014

Possibility Of A Pregnant Matron Of Honor Not An Option

Dear Tazi:

My sister got engaged last Christmas and is planning to be married this coming February - exactly one year from now. She told me that she would like me to be her Matron of Honor, but only if I am not pregnant at the time. She said she does not want a “large looking” honor attendant, especially since all of the other women she has chosen are quite petite, just like her.

Tazi, my sister’s words cut me to the bone! My husband and I have been married for three years and have been trying to conceive for the last six months, with little luck (I did conceive, but lost the pregnancy within the first month). Essentially, my sister has asked my husband and I to put our plans for a family on hold to suit her wedding plans. I have not told my husband of her request, nor have I given my sister an answer. Obviously, I would love to stand up for my sister on her wedding day, but not at the expense of my own marriage. Can you think of any way to get my sister to agree to a compromise on this matter?

Signed,
Hopefully A Mother-To-Be

Dear Hopefully A Mother-To-Be:

Was your sister drinking at the time she made this insulting condition a part of her request that you be her Matron of Honor? Honestly, that is the only reason I can think of as to why someone would think they should have any say in another woman’s fertility. As a married woman, one who is actively trying to conceive, your sister has to understand that a pregnant Matron of Honor is a very real possibility. If this is something she simply cannot get past than I am afraid you will have to tell her that you cannot accept her conditional offer – that she accepts you as you are (pregnant or not) or finds someone else to be her Honor Maid/Matron.


If this is acceptable...

Surely this is, too?

If your sister is open to compromise – and she has some very understanding friends – there is one possible solution in the form of a back-up plan. You could agree to stand up for your sister as her Matron of Honor so long as you are not pregnant/not showing and have another woman agree to be the back-up Maid/Matron of Honor if you are expecting and showing by her wedding day. This idea means investing in a dress that you might not end up wearing, and just suggesting this idea leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but you asked for an idea on how to compromise so I am providing one that your sister might agree to let happen.

Snuggles,
Tazi

P.S. I am hoping that as her wedding date draws closer Bridezilla steps down off of her high horse and realizes what a horse’s behind she is being. I realize that the woman I am speaking of is your sister, so I am being as nice as possible!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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