Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Average Joe Wonders If His Perfect 10 Is For Real

Dear Tazi:

I can't decide if my girlfriend is with me because she loves me or because I spend a lot of money on her. On the one hand, she never wants to get physical with me; which makes me believe that she is with me for the money, but on the other hand she is devoutly religious - so it could just be her religious views that are keeping our relationship a chaste one. Here are the rest of the facts:

She is an absolute knock-out - tall and leggy, blonde hair, bright green eyes, and an amazing body; I am an average looking guy who is starting to lose his hair.

She is very popular, and loved by everybody; I am the kind of guy that thinks people like having him around, but my friends tell me that my personality can get really annoying and that I need to tone it down a notch.

She works an average job for average pay and hopes to one day be a stay-at-home Mom and a work-from-home professional; I make six-figures, enjoy my career, and could easily afford to have my wife stay at home.

We have only been together for six months, but she is the kind of woman I could see myself spending the rest of my life with - which is why I lavish her with expensive gifts, like jewelry; car repairs; designer clothes; and other goodies. I would like to ask her to marry me, but I can't get past the idea that she is using me for my money and her religion as an excuse to keep me at arms length. I have thought of cutting back on the gifts, but them she might think I am angry with her or worse, losing interest in her. What do you think, Tazi? Could she really love me for me? Or am I just fooling myself?

Average Joe

Dear Average Joe:

Before you jump to conclusions, examine the situation at hand. You say your girlfriend (can we give her a name?) is devoutly religious. Does "Lauren" (as I am going to call her) attend services regularly? Volunteer at her church? In essence, does she practice what she preaches - beyond remaining chaste? If the answer is yes, then I would say that she is indeed genuine and with you because she cares about you and can see a future with you. If however the only time she ever comes close to practicing her religious beliefs is when you make a move on her, the answer is probably one you do not want to hear.

There are many ways to express affection for a person without spending gobs of money on them. Cooking a homemade dinner, slipping a love note in her purse, surprising her by washing her car and topping off the gas tank are all free or low cost ways of showing a woman that you love and appreciate her. If there is something that she truly desires - such as a beautiful pair of birthstone earrings or a new dress to wear to church - you can purchase it as a gift for a special occasion. This way, the gift-giving will not be such a one-way street.

If you fear that Lauren will think you are upset with her if you slow down the flow of presents, you need to communicate to her that this is not the case. From the sound of your letter, you suffer from issues of self-worth - sometimes having too much, other times not enough - which could impede your ability to both express yourself and understand what others are telling you. The next time something is on your mind, talk to Lauren about it and honestly listen to how she answers. Sincerity cannot be faked, and you should be able to tell if she is being truthful with you, or simply telling you what you would like to hear. This should give you an idea about her true feelings for you, and tell you in which direction you should head - to the alter, or towards the exit.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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