Thursday, May 8, 2014

Don't Be A Tool; Treat Others Property With Respect

Dear Tazi:

I love my wife with all my heart, and would not trade her for the world. That said, I do have one problem with her: she has a tendency to use my expensive tools improperly.

I work as a contractor, so I have a very well appropriated workshop that is full of specialized tools. My screwdrivers and such may look like something you can pick up at the local Home Depot or Sears, but trust me when I tell you they are quite specialized. I have tried to explain this to my darling wife, but she does not seem to understand that a screwdriver cannot do double duty as a hammer simply by using the opposite end of it. Last week she could not find a staple remover, so she grabbed my chrome-plated awl to do the job. I know because she forgot to put it away and I found it in the office among a pile of twisted staples.

Like I said, Tazi, I love my wife dearly and would never, ever purposely say or do anything to hurt her, but after several years of putting up with this quirk of hers I am reaching the end of my rope! Do you have any suggestions on how to get her to leave my stuff alone?

Handy Smurf

Dear Handy Smurf:

I have always wondered finally who won Smurfette's heart - Handy Smurf or Hefty Smurf. Smurfette never did strike me as the do-it-yourself type, so you two must make a pretty good match. (Okay, I know that you aren't really a mythical blue creature, I just could not resist!).

I am sorry to hear that your wife has been digging around in your toolbox and taking things. Have you considered maybe buying her a set of inexpensive tools all her own? Many manufacturers make a variety of tools for around the home that are designed with women in mind (you can even get them in pink, so they will never be confused with your tools).

If purchasing your wife tools exclusively for her use does not alleviate the problem, might you consider putting a lock on your toolbox so she cannot get into it? Normally, I am adverse to having one spouse keep their things locked away from the other; but tools, when used improperly, can cause serious and permanent injuries. You can think of it as an investment in her health, the health of your tools, and the health of your marriage. However, before taking this step, take a moment to explain to your wife just why you are doing it. Nothing piques a woman's curiosity more than a locked box. Just ask Pandora.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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