Saturday, May 31, 2014

Wife Loved Slim Spouse, Is Not Attracted To Chubby Hubby

Dear Tazi:

I am a married woman, and I love my husband – I truly do – but after fifteen years of marriage he is no longer in the same physical shape that attracted me to him. “Aaron” has lost the athletic figure of his youth, putting on several unsightly pounds while allowing his muscles to go soft and flabby. While I continue to go to the gym three days a week, Aaron chooses to sit on the sofa drinking beer and eating pizza; he insists that he needs this time to relax after a stressful day at work.

I am no longer physically attracted to Aaron, and would like him to lose some weight. I just know that if he does that old spark will come alive once more and our marriage – stunted by the lack of bedroom activity – will once again be happy and healthy. Do you have any suggestions on how to get Aaron off the sofa and into the gym?

Svelte Sylvia

Dear Svelte Sylvia:

One sure-fire way to fail at your goal of reconstructing your husband is to shut him out in the bedroom until he once again meets your physical specifications. If my lady friend had your attitude it would stress me to the point of vegging on the sofa with pizza and beer, too! That is, if I wasn’t neutered – but that’s beside the point!

Aaron did not lose his athletic cut overnight; it happened over a period of months or even years. Something had to trigger his loss of desire for exercising and eating right. Has he been screened for depression? Even mild depression can sap a person’s desire for physical and/or sexual activity, which would explain why your husband went from being Slim Goodbody to Chubsy Hubsy. Other reasons for the change could entail reasons inside or outside of the marriage, but the one thing that is for sure is that whatever the issue it is affecting your marriage.

Rather than push Aaron off of the couch and into the gym, why not sit down with him and ask what is stressing him so much? Ask when did these feelings of stress start and how you might help him overcome them. Whatever you do, do not tell him that you are no longer sexually attracted to him! Instead, express your concerns for his overall health; tell him that you love him and want to have him around for many years to come and that regular exercise and a healthy diet are a way to help make that happen.

In the end, it will be Aaron’s decision to exercise or not. You must ask yourself if you can accept him for worse as well as better, because what you have now may be as good as he’s going to get.

Perfunctory snuggles,

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