Friday, June 6, 2014

This Little Bird Tweets Too Much

Dear Tazi:

I have a friend who has been begging me for months to join Twitter, so I finally broke down and created an account just to shut her up. The cool thing is that I discovered I like it a lot more than I thought I would; the uncool thing is that my friend tweets at least a hundred times a day – I know because I counted!

“Jayne” will tweet about the most mundane things, like “Looked out the window and saw it was raining. Now I can’t go for a walk at lunch” or “Have to go to the bathroom. BRB.” These are things that nobody but Jayne actually cares to know, but she posts anyway. Literally everything Jayne does shows up on her Twitter feed, clogging the feeds of those who follow her. I tried unfollowing her, but she took it so personally it was like World War III so I added her back.

The worst part of Jayne’s behavior is that she almost never bothers to read things that other people post, and on the off chance she does she will only leave comments as they pertain to her. When I recently got a big promotion at work, I shared the happy news via Twitter. Instead of simply congratulating me like everyone else, Jayne ranted about how unfair life is; that she “deserves a big promotion" – just like in that old song 9 to 5!” Twitter limits each tweet to 140 characters, but Jayne gets around that by writing “(1/__)” at the end of one tweet and continues on in a second or even third tweet. When she in on a run, she can go seven or eight tweets just to complete a thought. She is really sucking the fun out of Twitter!

When I first accepted Jayne invitation to join Twitter, I thought it was because she wanted to keep up with my life and to banter back and forth with me. I now realize that she was just trying to increase her online audience and feed her own ego. I feel like I am being used, Tazi. I don’t want to quit Twitter, I just want to quit Jayne’s never-ending tweets. Any suggestions?

Logging Off Of Jayne

Dear Logging Off Of Jayne:

Victims of Twitter addicts everywhere are nodding their heads in agreement, and are probably re-tweeting this column about the “Jayne” on their feed (at least I hope they are! I need the publicity!). Since unfollowing Jayne resulted in hurt feelings and discontent on her end, I would not suggest doing it again for the simple fact that it caused you enough discomfort to re-follow The Human Tweet Machine.

Here is a suggestion that will take some effort on your part – how much depends on how many people you follow and followers you have – but it could partially solve your Jayne issues: Set up a new Twitter account (using a different e-mail address) as your active account and leave your current account as your foil. It appears that Jayne is pretty self-absorbed and will not notice that you have created a second Twitter account where you connect with and follow those who interest you. This should solve the issue of Jayne hijacking your tweet feed; however, the issue of her self-centeredness remains.

If you are comfortable with Jayne just the way she is, you need go no further than creating a new Twitter account. If, on the other hand, you are uncomfortable with her constant need for an audience you will need to distance yourself from Jayne until you feel comfortable enough to stand up to her when she starts to steamroll on over you. Twice in your short letter you provide examples of how Jayne has bullied you – first into shining the spotlight on her; second by stealing the spotlight from you. This is something for you to think about going forward.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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