Saturday, August 2, 2014

"Upscale" Dining Choice Has Husband Upset

Dear Tazi:

Every Friday night my wife wants to go out to dinner.  She is a stay-at-home Mom to our two sons, and says that after a hard week at work she deserves a break.  Tazi, I work just as hard all week - if not harder than her - and I do not think that the money that I have earned should be spent going out to dinner when my wife is perfectly capable of cooking a delicious homemade meal.

I usually give in to her requests to keep the peace, but her requests are starting to get out of line.  We usually go to a family-friendly restaurant like McDonald's or Chick-fil-a, where the kids can play while we relax.  Now, she wants to start going to more upscale restaurants that offer what she thinks is a healthier menu - places like Waffle House or Friendly's!  I put my foot down and told her that when she makes the money she can decide how to spend it, and that from now on we would be eating at home on Friday nights until further notice.  That was two weeks ago, and every night since I have been coming home to a family that has already eaten without me.  I am lucky if there are leftovers to reheat, otherwise I have to make myself a peanut-butter sandwich.

Tazi, can you help me get my wife to see reason?  I work hard to provide for our family, and do not want to see our money spent so frivolously!

Hard Working Man

Dear Hard Working Man:

I think your wife will see reason when you see reason.  Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom to two boys is not an easy job.  Have you ever tried to cook breakfast, prepare lunch, clean, do laundry, iron, keep the freshly cleaned house clean, chauffeur the children to their activities, and prepare a savory and nutritious dinner - all while keeping an eye on two young boys, to make sure they are staying out of trouble?  I am exhausted just reading what a stay-at-home-mom has to do to keep the world turning, and this list isn't even complete!  Do you still think your wife has an easier schedule than you?

A Friday night out to dinner is not an unreasonable request to make, especially at a reasonably priced restaurant like the Waffle House or Friendly's!  While I would not say that the food is inherently more nutritious at these places than at the fast-food chains, the atmosphere makes for a nice change of scenery.  If you are not comfortable with paying the extra few dollars for dinner every week (and this is understandable, if you are on a tight budget), I suggest that you and your wife compromise and trade off weeks between a relaxed and "more upscale" atmosphere.  Another suggestion is that you eat out every other week and try a restaurant like Applebee's or TGI Fridays, both of which have a children's menu.

I'm just not getting that "upscale" feel.  Are you?
You also need to remember that you and your wife are a couple - there is no "my" when you are married; what is yours is also your wife's.  She could be out working a full-time job, but she has put the needs of your children ahead of her own, and has trusted you to care for needs.  I believe that her cooking strike is her way of illustrating this point to you - you have refused to consider her needs, now she is refusing to consider yours.  I can see acting like this for a few days to get your point across, but a few weeks?  It sounds like your wife is overstating her point.  You may want to consider marriage counseling.


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

1 comment:

  1. If this gentleman believes that a Friday night at home with a delicious and healthy meal is preferable, perhaps he should start to do some of the cooking!!!! This meets the needs of the budget and his wife's well deserved break form household duties. Stay at home moms work a 24/7 job, how does he believe he works harder? One idea, if money is tight is to send her over to the market alone to select the foods she would like to have while he watches the boys... giving mom a well deserved moment alone that does not cost that family additional funds.