Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Closet Cross-Dresser Seeks To End Double Life

Dear Tazi:

I am a cross-dresser. Most people do not even notice that I prefer to wear clothing of the opposite sex because I have very effeminate features and take a great deal of care with my appearance – more so than many real women.

I moved away from my hometown straight out of high school and I have managed to maintain a duel life by telling people that I have a reclusive twin brother – this way, if I am recognized out of makeup and wig, I can tell people that I am “Trudy’s” twin. Thanks to the magic of Photoshop I have been able to create very convincing portraits and pictures of myself and “Tommy” sitting side-by-side. I have also created a back-story for Tommy and of our childhood growing up together. I do not use social media sites, so I do not have to worry about the people from my past finding out about who I am now.

Tazi, I am so tired of living a double life and would love to be able to show the world who I really am – a heterosexual man who prefers to wear women’s clothing! I have the opportunity to take a new job in a large metropolitan city, the kind of place that would accept me for who I am and not judge me. The problem is that I have made many friends where I am now and would hate to simply drop out of their life; however with them it is a case of where I go Tommy goes, too.

I am afraid it would seem rather strange to people that Tommy followed me to my new city (currently he supposedly lives a few towns over from me) and I know that there are people who would want to stay in touch with him, so I am considering killing him off! I am thinking of saying he went on vacation and committed suicide – which would explain a closed casket – but I hate the idea of making those who have met him go through the mourning process. Do you have any better ideas on how to kill off an imaginary person?

Just Trudy

Dear Just Trudy:

I am happy that you have finally found the courage to stop living a lie, even if moving away from the place you have lived it is what has given you the needed strength. I am impressed that you were able to pull off such a “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” escapade, in spite of my distaste for lies; self-preservation sometimes requires such measures.

Killing off your imaginary twin brother sounds like an expensive ordeal. A funeral is not cheap, plus there is a matter of a death certificate. No funeral home will perform the service without first viewing the body to ensure that the person is actually dead, and a death certificate must be issued. I suppose you could get around this matter by declaring that “services will be private” and them not hold a funeral; but this still leaves the issue of the grieving populace.

You mention that your imaginary twin brother is “reclusive”, which tells me he is rarely seen about town. Are you sure that his presence will even be missed? A better way to make your imaginary twin disappear would be to have him drop out of sight after you move; being a recluse he will not be expected to be seen, especially if his twin sister – his one reason for coming to town – is no longer living nearby. Anyone who wishes to stay in touch with him will surely understand that he prefers to be left alone, a la Boo Radley. As for people who wish to stay in touch with you, it will be your decision whether or not to come clean with them. I wish you all the best!


P.S. Most “real women” do not have the time to make themselves up like a queen! I commend your commitment, but condemn your critical tone! --T.K.

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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