Friday, December 5, 2014

He's In A Wheelchair; Should She Ask Him To The School Dance?

Dear Tazi:

I have secretly been in love with the same boy since middle school.  I am now a sophomore in high school, and my school's annual Winter Ball is next month.  I would really like to ask my crush to go with me, but I am afraid it would be awkward.  You see, the boy I like is in a wheelchair.  Would it sound insensitive if I were to ask him to a school dance?

"Dax" is an amazing guy.  He is cute, friendly, and always surrounded by friends and making people laugh.  He is the kind of person you can hang with all day and not even notice his wheelchair until you get up to leave, and realize that he has to take the long way to the exit because he needs to use the ramp.  I think he would have a good time at the Winter Ball, even if he can't dance.  I know lots of guys don't dance, but go because their girlfriends make them, so Dax wouldn't be the only guy not dancing if he went with me and I could dance with the other girls whose dates don't dance.  If I explained things to him this way, do you think Dax would say yes to going to the dance with me?

Winter Blues

Dear Winter Blues:

I think if you told Dax everything you just told me he would be super insulted that you assume he is unable of getting around on the dance floor.  Disabled does not mean unable.  Whether Dax enjoys dancing or not is a matter of his personal preferences, not his chair.  I know plenty of men with two perfectly working legs who can't dance worth a lick!  Many people in chairs are capable of pulling moves non-paraplegics can only dream of doing, like popping a wheelie while spinning in a circle - with or without an attractive date sitting on their lap, arms thrown around their shoulders!

You write that Dax is "an amazing guy" who is "always surrounded by friends and making people laugh".  How do you think he would feel if he was excluded from the dance because of the wheelchair that you otherwise do "not even notice"?  If you want to ask Dax to the dance - and he is interested in spending time with you - I do not see why he would refuse.  Several years ago my Mommie went to a Winter Ball with a date who was in a wheelchair.  She had an awful time because her dress was improperly sewn and the rear seam tore, but her date had an awesome time tearing up the dance floor while Mommie searched for a needle and thread.  After the dance, they went clubbing and danced some more!

If you aren't certain about how to ask Dax to the dance, try the casual approach.  Ask him if he is considering going, or if anyone has asked him yet; judge by his response as to whether or not he seems interested in going and decide what move to make from there.  Asking someone you like on a date can be a nerve-wracking experience, so just take a deep breath and act like you always do when you are around Dax...unless you normally act like the giggly airhead girls seem to turn into when they are around their crush, in which case try to act like you do around your best friend.

Please write back and let me know how things turn out for you!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

1 comment:

  1. I think you should ask Dax to the dance. Look at him for his Great personality, not his disability. As someone who as a disability, when I hang out with my friends I feel like I am just like one of them. They make me forget that I even have a disability. I have fibromyalgia. When you and Dax go to the dance together and have a great time, both of you will have so much fun that you could see Dax as the wonderful person that he is. I hope that you have a change in heart. You may never know, but Dax could be the "perfect" companion for you.