Saturday, December 20, 2014

Woman Wants To Know Why Men Keep Hitting On Her

Dear Tazi:

I am a busy, divorced Mom of an active son so I will be short, sweet, and to the point: How come men are coming out of woodwork - everyone from a nurse at the hospital  to a father in my son's class - and asking me "out" in not so polite terms. I'm not flirting or wearing anything remotely sexy and yet I'm getting requests everywhere; it's starting to be a pain!  Mind you I have a claddagh ring on left hand ring finger that is very classy, and custom made for me. I should also state that I have made it clear to these men that I am in a committed relationship, but that still hasn't stopped them.

Getting Tired Of All This Attention:

Dear Getting Tired Of All This Attention:

Your claddagh ring sounds lovely, but are you sure that you are wearing it correctly?  According to, this traditional Irish ring is to be worn on the right hand, with the hands and heart facing outward if you are single/looking and inward if you are in a committed relationship or married. If your ring is facing outward, men in the know about this tradition could see it as a signal to make a move.  This, however, does not excuse their use of crude and ungentlemanly language.  A Tazi Paw Slap of Disgust to them!

A Tazi Paw Slap of Disgust is like a Hallmark® card, only more honest!
If your claddagh ring is properly positioned and men are still coming onto you in not so polite terms, I suggest you tell them that "my boyfriend doesn't like it when other men talk to me that way, and neither do I!"  From there, calmly walk away or, if that is not possible, turn away from them so they know you are not interested.  If they continue to pursue you, do your best to ignore them.  Once they realize you are not playing hard to get their fervor will hopefully die.

This last step is very, very important: no matter how much a man continues to vie for your attention, you must ignore him.  The moment you give in to his desire for attention you give him power over you.  Just a spoiled child knows that Mommy will break down buy him a toy if he throws a tantrum, an unscrupulous man will learn what to do to break through your emotional armor and use it against you until you concede to having a conversation with him...or a drink...or dinner...or...(mind you, I am not saying all men are unscrupulous, but from the way you describe the way these men have been hitting on you they do not sound like gentlemen!).

As for how you act and dress, sometimes, all a woman has to do is smile and be friendly for a man to think that she is interested in him.  It is not for you to change your demeanor, but for the men who take it the wrong way to hold their horses and look for actual signs of interest and not interpret common courtesy as a green light into your bed.  Until these neanderthals catch on to the fact that you are not flirting with them, be sure to pepper your conversations with references to your partner and to flash that claddagh ring like a rapper flashes his bling!

Don "Magic" Juan would fit right in with the People of WalMart!


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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