I am the type of man who is attracted to extremely thin women. When my wife and I were married 7 years ago, she was a size 00 and I was never more attracted to her! Now, two pregnancies later she is a size 3 – creeping up on a size 5 – and my attraction for her is waning.
I realize that a size 5 is not heavy, and that many women dream of being a size 5, but for me it is just a little too much meat on the bones. My wife is 5-feet, 2-inches so she is still quite petite, but she no longer has the emaciated look that I fell in love with. I realize that having children has changed her body a bit, but I think with a little effort she could get back into a size 0 once more.
I have gained my fair share of weight over the years, so I feel like a bit of a hypocrite asking my wife to lose weight but she tells me that she likes my “extra padding” and that as long as I remain physically healthy she sees nothing wrong with it. A part of me wants to believe her, but the larger part of me thinks she is just trying to fool me into letting her stay at her current weight.
I suppose you are going to paw slap me for this, Tazi, and I suppose I deserve it, but I would like to ask my wife to go on a diet or to even consider plastic surgery to lose the excess weight. At a size 3 (and growing) I am no longer sexually attracted to her and it is taking a toll on our marriage. Do you think it would be okay to ask my wife to do this – for the sake of our marriage, and our children’s well-being? If my marriage falls apart, I fear my children will suffer in a broken home, so in the end this is really about the children, not me.
I would love to offer you s Paw Slap of Disgust, but since you realize that your request is worthy of one, yet you still cannot get over your disgust, I believe that you are suffering from an obsessive fetish, which will require counseling – not a Paw Slap – to overcome.
At 5’2” and a size 3, your wife is very petite. If he bone structure is also petite, then he weight is fine as it is; she is possibly even a little bit underweight, a problem that can cause serious health issues. She should not even be considering weight loss, let along plastic surgery to remove what you call extra weight and what the medical community sees as important body tissue.
You try to make your desires to be about your children, but in the end they are not; they are still all about you, regardless of how you twist them. You are right that children need a loving home, so I suggest that you take steps towards providing one. If possible, why don’t you and your wife join a gym? Exercise is a wonderful way to stay healthy and live a long and energetic life. You may lose the extra padding that you have put on and your wife will be able to add lean muscle mass to her petite frame, as well as short-circuit the chance for osteoporosis that people of petite bone structure often suffer later in life. Exercise while young is a great preventative for bone degeneration when old. A side affect will be a healthier sense of self-esteem, due to all those endorphins that are released during exercise.
I strongly suggest that you see a counselor to deal with your lack of attraction to your already slim wife. I am not entirely certain that her body size is what has killed your attraction to her, since sexual attraction is mental as well as physical. Seeing her as a mother instead of your wife could be a part of your issue, as could a sense of anger that the attention that once belonged solely to you is being split between your children. Your attempts to control your wife’s physical appearance may be seated in a deep rooted desire to control her.
Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.