Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Ex Gets The Inheritance - And They Weren't Even Married!

Dear Tazi:

I am so angry I could spit out my Pibb! My father died after a long illness and left his entire estate – including his rental property – to my ex-girlfriend, “Anna”, the woman he had hoped I would marry. My wife is devastated over the loss, since we planned on selling the house and using the money to pay off our own mortgage. I asked that grave-robbing piece of [feces] to do the right thing and sign the house over to me, but she refused. She told me she had no idea that my father was going to leave her anything; that she is just as shocked as everyone else but that she will honor his final wishes and accept his “generous gift”, and that she appreciates the fact that Papa sought to leave her with a secure financial future.

I spoke to my father’s estate attorney, who made it quite clear that Papa’s will was written after I broke up with Anna and that his intent was clear – he wanted her to have a home of her own and the money to keep up with the maintenance and repair (being a single woman she will have to hire someone to do a lot of these things). Papa left me with nothing but a life insurance policy that was just enough to cover his burial expenses (the homestead went to my Mama by default, since her name remained on it even after they divorced).

Anna has been busy decorating the rental property to her own tastes, hiring local contractors to do painting, carpet installation, and other chores. Many of these contractors are my friends, and they cannot speak highly enough of “Miss Anna”, telling me what a peach of a hostess she is and how she makes great pies and lemonade. They are nice enough not to say this in front of my wife, but word gets around a small town and she has heard the gossip. Would it be okay to tell my friends to shut their pie-holes and stop bragging on how great Anna is? Should I tell them some of her lesser qualities? I don’t want to come off as a jerk, but I feel like my nose is being rubbed in my losses.

Twice Burned

Dear Twice Burned:

Your wife is "devastated" over the loss...of your father's money? I simply want to make certain that I read your letter correctly. If this is what you mean, I can see why your father preferred Anna over your wife!

Something tells me there are details being left out of your letter, specifically the details of just how you broke up with Anna; how close she remained to your family and friends; and how well you treated your father. If your father loved Anna like a daughter-in-law and you treated her unfairly, I can see why he would feel protective of her; but to the point of leaving her an inheritance?

I have never heard of a parent disinheriting a child in order to bequeath their fortune on said child’s former romantic partner; I have heard of former connections remaining close to an ex’s parents and treating those parents better than their own children treat them. Who assisted and/or cared for your father during his long illness? Were you there by his side to help him remain in his own home? Was Anna? These are all questions that could shed some light on why he left her an inheritance that was originally intended for you.

I doubt that your friends are trying to rub your nose in your losses (and I do hope you are including the loss of your father among those losses); they are probably just surprised to find that you broke up with a woman like Anna, or maybe are fishing around for the right way to ask if you are okay with one of them asking her on a date. The next time one of your buddies starts bragging on “Miss Anna”, remain calm and tell them that yes, she is a special lady; she just wasn't the one for you, and would appreciate if they kept the comments about your ex to a minimum as it is affecting your wife’s self-esteem. You should never, ever speak poorly of an ex; it only reflects back on your own character.

Perfunctory snuggles,

P.S. Just because a woman is single does not mean she is incapable of handling household maintenance and repairs; however, it was nice of your father to consider the financial worth of these chores. –T.K.

Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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