Thursday, March 12, 2015

Woman With Turner Syndrome Seeks To Live Life On Her Own Terms

Dear Tazi:

I have a birth defect called Turner Syndrome. It means I was only born with one “X” chromosome instead of two. This means that I am female, but never went through puberty like normal girls. Without the assistance of hormone replacement shots I did not develop secondary sex characteristics, have a pubescent growth spurt, or any number of things that normal women experience. I am grateful that I do not suffer from the emotional/mental defects that sometimes affect women with my condition, but at the same time I am having difficulty coming to terms with my situation.

My parents were devout Christians who did not believe in medical intervention; rather, they believed in prayer. They believed that if they just prayed enough my body would somehow fix itself and I would grow up to be normal. For this reason, they did not allow me to have hormone replacement shots during the critical years of my development. I am a 22 year old woman and I still look and sound like a ten year old girl. I graduated college this past spring and have found a job that gives me financial independence from my parents, which has opened up my options in life.

I realize that available medical treatment cannot undo the damage my parents did through medical neglect, but I am working with my doctor to do what can be done. I am saving my money for breast implants and am content with the decisions I have made, but I made the mistake of mentioning this to my sister who immediately reported it to my parents, who flipped out on me, calling me a sinner and accusing me of every sin in The Book. Tazi, I just want to live a normal life. I do not expect my parents to accept my decisions, but I would like them to respect them. I am having a hard time forgiving them for all they have done wrong to me. Can you offer any advice on how to move on from my past?


Dear “X”:

A person cannot move on from their past, it is a part of who they are; however, you can move forward with your life by accepting your past and the decisions your parents made. These decisions may not have been what you consider to be in your best interest, but your parents were doing their best to raise you according to their own moral beliefs. In other words, they did what they did out of love for you, however distorted from reality their decisions may seem; you can accept this show of love for what it is worth and forgiveness will follow or you can let anger close off your heart.

Your sister was wrong to break your confidence; she should have known how much this news would upset your parents and what a stir it would cause. She owes you an apology and an explanation for her actions. As for your parents, they are not going to change. As much as it hurts to be judged by someone – especially one’s parents – you can fight them with their own fire by pointing out that the teachings of Christ do not condone hurling judgments of sin at others. You have accepted the fact that your parents will never approve of your decisions; you may also have to accept that they will never respect them, either. If they continue to throw accusations at you and accusing you of “every sin in the Book” try to turn the other cheek and silently intone the Serenity Prayer:


Ask Tazi! is ghostwritten by a human with a Bachelors of Arts in Communications. Tazi-Kat is not really a talking feline.

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